About a month ago, give or take, I broke up with my boyfriend of two year. (Again, give or take. I’m not great with estimating stretches of time.) I believe that we both knew it was time. Going into it, we were both excited, sexually frustrated teenagers. We both changed a lot, I like to believe for the better. However, I think it was time. All things come to an end, and that relationship reached its end.
I’m getting over it. I had a period where it felt like I was riding on a roller coaster of emotion - constantly cycling between apathy, sadness, anger, and hope. Currently, I’m doing pretty well. I have the ‘down’ times, but it’s getting better. That’s not what this post is about, so I digress.
Last week, it was May 4th I believe, I asked a fellow gay friend of mine to prom. I planned out this whole big production with the help of a few friends, it went very well. He said yes and smiles were had all around.
I wasn’t completely sure, and I’m still not completely sure, if we are going as friends, or more than friends.
I truly do have feelings for him. We’ve been good friends for quite awhile. He’s cute, and he’s a lot of fun. I think we would complement each other well, and our mutual friends agree.
On Saturday, my parents were out of town, so naturally, as a ‘typical’ teenager, I threw a [small] party, complete with the trimmings. Fun was had by all. We were flirting all night. Long story short, toward the end of the night (it was really morning…about 8:00 a.m.) we ended up cuddling. Back massages were exchanged and plenty of spooning was had. We moved to my bed and continued cuddling more before we drifted off into a drunken sleep. (Truly, though, at that time we weren’t all that drunk. We had pretty much sobered up by that point.)
We haven’t really discussed it since. I think this is an obvious indicator that he like me. Being myself, however, I am required to pick it apart and over-think it. Was it just the alcohol? Was it an act of opportunity?
I keep thinking about this guy. I really want to take our relationship further. However, I don’t want to talk to him about it then end up making prom awkward if our feelings aren’t mutual. His sister recommended that I wait until after prom, seeing that she didn’t know if he liked me or not, and thought it was best to avoid potential awkwardness. (She didn’t even know about what happened at the party, so I’m not so sure.)
Prom is about a month away, and it is torturing me to keep waiting. I keep worrying, hoping, second guessing, and over-thinking. I want to play it cool, but it’s hard! As petty as it sounds, I get all worried when he doesn’t text back – he’s one of those slow texting types. I’m not really sure what I should do.